Saturday, July 19, 2008

Since When??

Oh, I am trying to be good this morning, I really am.

But the smartass in me is about to burst! Yes, the smartass section of my brain has been assaulted by too many too-good-to-pass-up, bop-me-on-the-forehead-and-say-duh, idiot moments this morning. . . and the "idiot" in question is just as often Angela Faye Greer Garren as it is someone or something else.
****Just so you know, I wrote that first part about two hours ago, and my mood may have changed. Something about watching Back at the Barnyard with the kids has lightened the grump in my groove this morning. Well, okay, a little bit of lightening, but I'm still in a smartass kind of mood.

  • For instance, while watching Back at the Barnyard, I am once again wondering, Since when do bulls have udders?? The main character is Otis, and I'm pretty sure from his voice and from references to "he" and "son" that Otis is a boy. Boy, as in either a bull or a steer, but no udder! Great, my kids either think milk can come from a bull, or later on in life, they are going to be wondering why Mom and Dad laughed along with them while they watched the exploits of a cross-dressing bull. Not that cross-dressing phases me one way or the other. Heck, I loved the scenes in Bull Durham where Susan Sarandon's character convinced Tim Robinson's character to wear lingerie under his pitching uniform. Still, there's just something so not right about an udder on a bull.
  • Once again, I've read a little online stew about something that didn't have enough meat or vegetables or even broth to warrant a stew, and yet, I keep reading because the responses and half-apologies and comments are so... well, I don't know what they are. I started to say entertaining, but that's not the right word. Pettiness and ugliness are not entertaining, unless of course, you are a producer of Jerry Springer's shows. Here's my smartass thought after reading all the "give it a rest already, I apologized, stop beating a dead horse" laments at the end of one of these discussions-- Since when do you bring the "horse" to the party to begin with and not realize that it's going to be "beaten" repeatedly?? Since when do you expect that the carcass of a "dead horse" is not going to stink??
  • Told ya part of this would be expressly about me. Since when is it a good idea to leave a freshly painted piece of wood to dry outside in 62% humidity?? Excuse me, girl, but did you forget that humidity=moisture which does not = dry?
  • I have become a crotchety old woman, I have, and I'm not even going to ask "Since when??" on that one. No, in true crotchety stereotypical fashion, I am reserving my indignation for the minor details that surely should have escaped my notice if I had more important things to occupy my worry wort. For instance, Since when do you save money by cutting down the size of the caps on plastic soda bottles so far that even a person who works with their hands has trouble gripping and opening her much needed Diet Coke?? Surely, the one-hundreth of a cent's worth of plastic saved on each bottle is not enough to increase Coca-Cola's stock prices? I know, I know, water bottles have had those skinny lids for a long time, but hey, drinking water is a healthy habit and as such is expected to require some extra effort ;)
  • Here's one last point to ponder this morning. Since when did I think eating a brownie for breakfast would count as starting to eat healthier again?? Did I really think that eating a small handful of grapes first would make it okay? Oh, oh, I know! The gooey sugars from the brownie adhere to the fiber in the grape skins, binding together and passing through the body unabsorbed. . .
Oh, brother! I think I'd better stop "since when' ing" and start getting some stuff done around here! Catch ya later!


rosebud101 said...

Angelina, I hope your day gets better! Go and torch! That always helps me!

ellen said...

I like that "grape encapsulating the sugar" thing. Think I'll give that a try.

Ramblings of a lunatic mom and lampworker said...

I like that 'grape encapsulating the sugar' thing. Hmmm, I like brownies too but we don't have too many good ones here (sad face). Someone pleeese rescue me with a good family tradition recipe. Pretty please. :))

Sorry you've had a grouch start to the day. They're not fun.

I should also hang my head in shame - getting my silly self involved in one of those stupid, stupid time I'll walk away. Promise. While I'll try. Okay, maybe you'll have to hold me back. LOL

I must got photography some glass teddy's. They'll make you smile guaranteed.

Catch you later.


Ramblings of a lunatic mom and lampworker said...

okay, I must really read before posting...'got' should be go and or go to. I just woke up. LOL

angelinabeadalina said...

Mich, you and Lynne do not bother me at all in those threads. I am talking about people who start crap and then wonder why no one wants to leave it alone after they finally give a half-hearted apology. That kind of stuff is what makes the threads so stinky! I gotta tell ya, though, I am happier when I can keep myself out of those messes, even when what I was trying to do is redeem them and make them useful in some way. . . I need that teddy bear smile just thinking about it all! Hey, I'm gonna go see what you've written about today :)