Saturday, August 9, 2008

A Fashion Moment with The Mooch


Meow to my feline buds, and a growl to all you humanoids who think pet clothes are fun. Hmmph. That Angie person who delivers the cat chow around here will not be writing this, as I have tricked her into locking the door behind her when she brought breakfast to me. Silly woman, at least put on your pajama bottoms before you go outside.

Now, listen closely, if you want to spare the silly woman additional humiliation. I. Want. That. Hideous. Pink. Bow. Contraption. Destroyed.

Or, you could put it on a dog and spread the humiliation, whichever. I. Just. Want. It. Gone. From. Around. My. Neck. Thank you.

I am not amused by "haute CAT-oure." I am an outside cat. I am a lounger. I am a snuggler when I feel like it. I am a watchcat. I am not a mannequin, er maybe that should be cat-equin. Whichever.

Bring me your scrambled eggs. Bring me your milk. Bring me your tiny, carefully chopped up bits of ham. Bring me ice cubes for my water on a sweltering summer day. BUT DON'T BRING ME ANY FREAKIN' PINK BOWS FROM THE CLEARANCE AISLE AT WAL-MART. That goes for blue bows from the clearance aisle, full price yellow bows, peach bows from the hoity-toity doggie store, too.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I wish to sneak around the side of the garage and watch that silly woman try to wake up the kiddos so they can let her back in the house. Funny, the way humans look when they try to run in their underwear. Hmmph. How do you think she would look if I could stick that pink froufrou bow around her neck, or even her ankle, whichever.

Hmmph. I am so out of here.


6 comments:

rosebud101 said...

I nearly wet my pants lauging at this one, Cat-oure, but you must endure. My dog loves his bling. He learned. So must you! Be nice to our human. Even if you did lock her out of the house. Be nice, for she brings you your food.

Ramblings of a lunatic mom and lampworker said...

Oh thank you for that. I seriousley hope she didn't lock you out of the house. Nasty pussy cat!!!

The pink bow is gorgeous and thank goodness I'm to far away for the kitty to cause too much damage over here. LOL

Moi

ellen said...

I don't know how you put up with her. She's a total whack job. I mean, what was she thinking with that stupid bow?
You are definitely misunderstood.

Capt Elaine Magliacane said...

How do you put up with that human? Too funny about locking her out of the house... good trick I'll have to try that one... signed... theDog

Deb said...

Next time you get one up on that human - make sure there is only a towel involved, or at the very most a robe.
Subtle hint - this is always more effective when no one else is home - such fun to watch from your lofty perch safely out of harms (or humans) way.
Really though - I think Pink becomes you - so don't be too vengeful.
It could have been worse - the peach bow for instance. Peach is NOT a colour - peach is a fruit.

angelinabeadalina said...

The Mooch says thanks for all of your condolences, as well as the well-meaning compliments about the darn frou-frou bow. She is also seriously planning her next attack...thanks for the tip about the towel!

Okay, Ang here. I gotta admit she didn't lock me out of the house... this time. But I could see it in her eyes, and I have such a fear of this happening to me that I check and double-check the door before I pull it closed behind me. I just know that cat can sense it, too, LOL!

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