Yes, can you help me convince myself that the most important reason we create is because we need to imagine art with our minds and then form it with our hands? I keep preaching that this is the point. I get frustrated beyond belief when creative people pick at each other for no good reason other than that they're afraid someone else making money will prevent them from also making money. I like to think that I create because I need to create, need to express myself. I like to think that I do so without bowing to the pressures of "will this idea sell".
You know what? It ain't working at the moment. The practical, intellectual side of my personality can see the recession and the effect it is having on so many purveyors of "necessary" goods (another clothing chain is closing its doors here, for instance). If people aren't buying as many necessary items, then they sure don't have extra money to be spending on art for the soul. Oh, I can tell you reason upon reason why art is a necessity, but that doesn't make more money magically appear in anyone's budget, does it? I get it, and I don't let that part wound me.
What gets me down is that I do understand, I do think it's going to take a while for the economy to strengthen, and I don't want to waste my resources making uninspired pieces of glass just to say I'm working. If that $40 for an oxygen refill is harder to come by, then why "waste" oxygen melting glass every single day? So, if I understand, then why is it depressing me? I think it's because creativity and activity feed one another. Creativity, when it's really pulsing through your veins, doesn't slow down, doesn't take breaks unless someone outside your bubble of imagination says "hey, do you think we could get a real mom-made meal tonight" and instantly reminds you that you do have other responsibilities in the world. Creativity, at least for me, feeds on activity. . .the more I make, the faster the ideas come. On the other hand, the fewer things I make, the less inclined I am to even start on more. . .creativity slow down.
What next, then? Well, I have to put the torch out of the way for a few days while we take care of other things around the house, so I'm going to let myself enjoy having an excuse to not torch for a few days, let myself think about other stuff. I'm pretty sure it won't be long until I'm longing to fire up the torch! Ain't nothing like glass melting!