Wednesday, October 21, 2009

AngHairium? AngHaireon?

I think it is about time the world took notice and gave me credit for the discovery of a new element on the periodic table. It's a gas, I'm certain of it. I'm just not sure what the name should be. How do they determine names of new elements, anyway? The base name has to be AngHair, but I'm uncertain about the appropriate suffix. Should it be "-ium" or "-eon" or just "-on"?

What I have no doubt about is that my hair never fails to behave like a gas-- IT EXPANDS TO FILL THE SPACE IN WHICH IT IS CONTAINED. No sh*&. You know how molecules of a gas will spread out to fill a container, no matter the size or shape of the container? My hair will expand to it's greatest possible volume, no matter the size or shape of the haircut.

This is me after having my hair cut and styled yesterday afternoon. This is the only picture of it you'll get to see. I have a fat face (to go with the rest of the fat me), but the angle of this picture almost makes me look like a slim Greer child. The other pictures were more true to life, but you'll just have to imagine the effects of completely flat and straight hair on a chubby face. As another aside, let me say that yesterday marked the first time I have ever been given a tour of a salon before actually having my hair cut. Uh, excuse me, but I can see that you have six cutting stations, and I figured you'd get around to trying to sell me products when you met me at the cash register. Seriously, that was a tad bit on the weird side, given that the young woman who gave me the "tour" seemed eerily like one of the heavily eye-lined mannequins displayed alongside all the special products. Other than that awkwardness, I enjoyed talking to the actual stylist and felt she more than earned her pay by cutting through my unruly mop and then meticulously drying and ironing it.

And the problem is what, you ask? The problem is that I do not style my hair. As a matter of fact, I've even gotten to the point where turning on the blow dryer is too much hassle. Morning shower or nighttime bath, doesn't matter which, I let my hair airdry. I own various and sundry hairstyling implements, all of which are currently collecting dust in one box or another. Hot rollers? Got 'em. If big hair is ever needed, all I have to do is break out those puppies. My ever-expanding hair loves them. . .for at least fifteen minutes. Since I hate hairspray, the big curl effects all too quickly deflate, and my hair reverts back to it's own not-curly-but-not-straight self. Flat iron? Got it. I gave in and attempted to use it this morning after taking the bushy haired picture at the top of this post. No need for another picture. . .as per usual, my attempts to iron flat my hair ended with me spewing curse words and my hair sticking out at unnatural angles from the back of my head.
Feh. (Whatever that means. I just know it sounds like what I feel about the whole hair issue.)

Now that we've discussed the sad failure of the science community to name an element after my unruly hair, here are a few random Ang thoughts:

  • Give someone you love a hug today, if at all possible. That's just all around good advice.
  • Send my kids "I do like school" vibes, please. They don't like school, doesn't matter whether it's their old school or their new school. I like school. They think I've lost my mind. I just want them to enjoy their days. I don't think they are right now. Kate is having trouble adjusting to a completely different math book-- and math used to be her "easy" subject. James seems to bounce back and forth from not paying attention to how he does his work to making A's on tests. .. . kind of unsettled still.
  • Look for a blog post titled "The Ladybugs Have Won the Battle". Those little orange versions (are they really ladybugs, too?) have swarmed our deck and keep finding all the crevices between the french doors and the door jambs. Ack! I've heard ladybugs are good luck, but really!
  • Still doing the MickeyD's wi-fi plan, so my hour is about to expire. Better go! Hugs and kisses and good thoughts to all of ya!


rosebud101 said...

Ang, I like your hair, and I will be sending good school vibes to your young 'uns. The adjustment might just take a little bit of time, but it will happen. Hang in there!

angelinabeadalina said...

Thanks, Mrs. M! Kate must have already felt the vibes yesterday because after a big sigh and glance at her handwriting homework, she said, "Well, after all, I *am* new at this."

Anonymous said...

just thinking and wondering if "the move" was completed. Sending smiley thoughts your way.

angelinabeadalina said...

Hey, is that Kathy B sending smiley thoughts? Big waves from over this way! Got part of the boxes put away, still got a pole building full of junk to take care of, though. Kids love the big backyard but are missing IGS!